Before I left on the race I wrote a blog inspired from the song, ‘I Saw God Today' A few days ago on the beach thanks to the shuffle setting I heard it on my ipod and I opened my eyes to all around me in Santorini. Every day I look around and I feel like I am in a movie because it is almost too beautiful to believe that I am here. It is easy in this setting to tune out the world and face it, isn't that the point of a vacation. That's what I used to think.

This year has taught me to be intentional at all times. Well, I choose to ignore God's voice a lot, but it is always there. A lot of people we have met this year were excited to meet missionary's, which made talking about it easy. Here in Greece there are a lot of American tourists we have met. For the 1^st time in awhile I am getting the ‘Ohh you are a missionary, well umm, hmm. What does that mean?' and then trying to get out of a God focused conversation quickly.  Despite that, I have seen God in every situation.

I saw God present when I talked with one of my roommates at the hostel. She was telling me about her travels this year and then she mentioned this small, awful town called Pattaya in Thailand. She taught English there for awhile and had a hard time living in a city like Pattaya. God moment! I told her about my experience and how God set me on fire while I was there and how God called me to return one day. The crazy thing is she is moving to Atlanta to go to grad school. It was no coincident in meeting her, it was a God-incident.

 

Some folks started saying the phrase "I love my life" while they were in Africa and needed motivation to make it through the hard days. The phrase stuck with me. I say it with all seriousness now...I really do love my life. This year has been the most amazing gift from God. It seems a little funny to call it a gift because this year was not easy all the time. Sometimes I wanted to run away from the pain and hard conversations. Sometimes I wanted to close my ears to the lessons God wanted to teach me. The overwhelming truth is that it was all worth it. Every lesson, hard conversation, every tear was worth it.

I haven't blogged about team 5 Alive in awhile, so here is the truth. We fell apart in the end. Things got hard, feelings were hurt, and we did not know how to move past the pain. So for over the last two months we have not operated as a team. Sometimes we were there for each other individually; but it wasn't the same. This year we lived in community the way Christ intended His children to. We went deep with one another from day one, so the more you invest the more you have to lose. When one person was struggling we rebuked satan's schemes and declared God's truth over them. We loved through the hard times and prophesied of those to come. We were Christ to one another.

The kicker I have learned about community is that it does not happen naturally. Every single person must chose individually to live in true community or opt-out. When we came back together at final debrief things were still rocky. It did not sit well with me that my family was not going to end the year on good or God's terms. For months I and many others prayed for reconciliation. We tried to make it happen on our time and of course, that did not happen. Freedom fell on 5 Alive the night of our final worship. The Spirit fell on all our hearts as a team and individually. The chains were broken, arrows were removed, and no scars remained. Christ healed what was broken and restoration occurred.

 

To Ali: You are my NEW sister in Christ. You are a different woman now than you were 11 months ago. You are a bold, fierce woman of God who is going to bring Kingdom to the world and especially Colorado!

 

To Melanie: The old is gone and the new is alive. You are God's beautiful daughter who has the responsibility to tell others of your transformation. You will change the world through your gift of joy, comforting, and wise counsel. This is just the start of your new life.

To Natalie: Your gentle spirit has touched my soul this year. I see a warrior ready to go to battle. You are armed with the gift of prophecy and speaking bold truths that pierce souls. Yet a soft prayer that humbles others to life change.

Rise up women of God!

*I met a God this year I did not know before. I saw a God who loves the lost and breaks our hearts for what breaks His. I saw a God who wants to wake up the sleeping nations and bring restoration. I met a God this year that awakened my soul to who He really is.

*God is CRAZY in love with us. Despite our flaws, short-comings, and failings God will always love me. I can never lose His love.

*The Holy Spirit is alive and active. Life in the Spirit is not just something that happened in the Bible. The same Spirit that was alive in Paul is in me as well.

*Christ gives us His authority. The authority that Christ had to cast out demons is the same authority Christ gives me. It is time we believe miracles and healings are real because God wants us to be His mouth of truth, His hands of healing, and His love that is alive through our faith.

*God is asking more of every single person. We have a responsibility to share Christ with the world, with our family, with those we don't know. Deciding to live for Christ is the hardest and the best decision we will ever have to make. A life with God is signing up for rejection, hardships, and one hell of a life in freedom. If this was easy everyone would give their life to God. We have not signed up to sit on the sidelines and let ‘that stronger Christian' do the work...the work is for you and for me.

*I have lived this year with the fire of God within me and I am addicted. God has given me His goodness and I chose to live within it for the remainder of my life. God set my mouth on fire with His truth. He gave me His words and confidence to be able to stand in front of others and offer His freedom to anyone who is hungry. His Spirit struck me to the ground and gave me the gift of tongues. I will edify my God with these words and by my life.

*The call of a life in Christ has been offered and I say YES. My life before the race was a life of searching. I was searching for fulfillment, acceptance, love, and basically myself. I am no longer searching. Christ has told me who I am in Him and what my role in the Kingdom is. The ‘American Dream' that I pictured for my life is no longer there. I see a life of igniting our generation to rise up and be the women and men of God that we are called to be. I see a life of breaking the chains of bondage that are holding the bar girls captive in Thailand. I see a life with Christ that I could never imagine for myself...I see freedom in Christ wherever the road takes me.

"How do you pick up the threads of your old life? How do you go on? With a new heart you begin to understand there is no going back."

-Frodo Baggins, ‘Lord of the Rings'

This is it. The race is over. 11 months have come and gone and so has the old Amy. I have been thinking a lot about going home, what is it going to be like, how will I adjust. I wonder if anyone will be able to see the transformation that has occurred within me. I am the same Amy as I was before but with a completely new understanding of who I am in God and of who God is. I have met a God on this trip that I did not know before and I am madly in love with Him. He has wrecked me, kicked me in the butt, and shown me more love than I knew was possible.

Last month my Moldova team and I watched the Lord of the Rings series (yes we are aware we are dorks). When we heard Frodo say this at the end of the movie after he returned to the Shire we cracked up laughing because we now relate to a hobbit. I know exactly how Frodo felt. You return to your old life, but you are not the same, I am not the same. The normal that I knew before will no longer be my normal because I don't fit in. God has turned me into a passionate woman I was not before this journey. The exciting part is I find a new ‘normal' now. I get to find out how this new Amy translates into the American culture and that excites the heck out of me. I have a heart for America, for my generation. I have a desire to share what God has done to me with as many people as possible when I get home.

I am at final debrief and finish up in a few days. It is hard to say goodbye to what has become home. But God is now calling me back to America to share the stories that he has given me.

This is not the end, just the beginning of a life long journey....

My teammate Katie Rowland made this video as a favor for me. My singles group I was a part of in Atlanta is having a retreat and the theme is community living. This year on the race my community has changed me. They have challenged me, loved me, and been Christ to me. My singles group in Atlanta was the community God placed me in to prepare for my journey this year. They as well sharpened me and loved me like Christ loves me. There is not one community in the world that is perfect, every community needs constant refinement that is where the challenge comes in. After literally living in community 24/7 this year I learned that Christ asks more of us than most of us are willing to give. Are we willing to bear our hearts, share our struggles with one another, and love others when all I want to do is smack them?? I realized I was not living as intimately with others as I thought I was before the race. Christ has shown me that I had more to give than I was offering before. It was not the community's fault, it was my fault. It is every single person's decision how deep you are willing to live in community. Living in community can be a comfortable thing if you decide to take the easy route...that is not what Christ asks us to do. My hope is that every person makes the personal decision to live in community, let your community transform you through Christ's power, and to love each other unconditionally even when it is hard. Wouldn't Christ ask the same of you??

Sometimes I have moments where I am overwhelmed by God's love. This is one of those moments. Nothing significant has happened. I am just being. Sitting I feel God's love flow through my entire body. Sometimes we make God too complicated. It is simple. He loves me. I love Him. I give Him my life. He will take care of the rest.

This is the kind of simplistic love we wanted to share with Zodwa.  Zodwa is an eighteen-year-old girl who sells her body in order to survive in Swaziland. We were able to spend the night at her house loving on her in a way she has probably not known since her parents died.

When my teammate Ali and I went to her home we thought she couldn't speak any English. God surprised us within 5 minutes when we could hold a simple conversation with her. Jumping at the chance, we started telling her how much we really love her and how much God really loves her.  While she was quiet a lot of the time,  I know that she was soaking in God's truth.

We brought some food with us and it didn't take long before she was digging in. As we munched on sandwiches and pretzels, we wondered what path brought her to where she is now. Her story is one of pain that all too many Swazi's have had to endure throughout their lives. She still lives in the small concrete shack that her mother built when she was a child. One morning when she was ten she woke up to a normal day. Her mother cooked her breakfast and she left for school. Upon returning home that day her life would be altered forever.  She was all alone in the world. Zodwa's mother died that very day. All her siblings left, some lived in the city and some were just gone. At the age of ten, she was left alone to fend for herself. She began to clean houses in order to make money to barely survive. For 4 years, Zodwa tried to delay the inevitable.  However at 14, she had to make a choice, that to this day she can't admit,  in order to stay alive.  Her body was now for sale.  

Several times during the evening, yelling came from her neighbor and was returned by Zodwa. . She told us she was telling her that she had company. Later, Pastor told us that she was telling her neighbor, Big Mama (her boss), she could not go to work that night.  Around eleven, as we got ready for bed, we heard a knock on the door. My heart literally jumped because I thought it was  a customer. It ended up being her "cousins" coming over because they were hungry, or that is what they told us. Ten minutes after they arrived, a guy was yelling from outside. One of the girls went outside and was talking with him for a while. Pastor told us that the girls are also prostitutes and they were coming over to try and get Zodwa to go to a customer. We were in the middle of Zodwa's real life.  A life no teenager should have to live. Zodwa should be worrying about homework and plans for the weekend instead of  worrying about how to put food on her own table and how she was going to survive.

Swazi culture is one of shame and hiding the truth. Zodwa's story is no exception. She is embarrassed of the life she lives and wants to hide the truth. I asked her if she could do anything in the world and have her dream job what would it be. She could not even answer. The concept of dreaming seemed foreign to her completely. That broke my heart. Regardless of the your lifestyle, everyone is allowed to dream."Tell your dreams to God," I told her " He hears them all".  Nothing is too big for our Lord to accomplish. I have dreams of Zodwa having a new life. I have dreams of Zodwa going back to school. I have dreams of Zodwa falling crazy in love with her true Father. These dreams can become a reality. Join me to pray for a girl who people avoid eye contact with, for a girl who nobody truly cares what happens to her. Join me in prayer for a girl who is not forgotten because she is loved more than she can even imagine.